Archive | May 2015

50 Shades of Grey – the hair discussion

You can already guess what this is going to be about, yes, grey hair. Your girl has salt and pepper grey hair – more pepper than salt but nonetheless, grey hair. I greyed early, I’m only in my late 40s and I’ve been hiding the greys under weaves and wigs for years.  I lost both parents within 3 years of each other by the time I was 38 so I believe stress played a major role with the onset of grey.

I threw the wigs away and have been wearing my hair out for about a month now and still loving it.  I had a church member tell me today that he didn’t even recognize me because of my hair.  He said “you look so different”.  I just threw up my hand up in a wave from across the room and kept moving because I knew no compliment was coming behind it.  I had another member a couple of weeks ago say “what happened to all of that pretty hair?” She was referring to my blondish curly wig I used to wear.  I told her “this is the original pretty hair”. There was a brief pause and then she said “it looks good like that too, I just didn’t recognize you at first.”

Bursting out totally natural is one thing but exposing your greys is a whole ‘notha animal.  It’s another level of realness for people to have to process.  People for the most part embraced my natural hair whole heartedly, I was actually shocked by the love.  People embracing the grey natural hair has been a little different.  I noticed less “likes” on social media after exposing my “real hair” and less stares in public than when I worn my blonde curly wig.  It’s been an interesting eye opener that led me to believe that people were only into me for the false vision of myself that I was projecting to them.  They would rather except the fakeness than the realness. WOW!!!  I will get a compliment followed by the question: “are you going to dye it?”  After getting this question over and over again, I decided to conduct my own little experiment using a picture taken with a professional camera at an album release party last weekend.  I posted this picture below in a chat room I belong to and asked if I should dye it or not.  I told them that I personally didn’t mind the greys and hubby is also fine with it.  I mentioned that my son said dye it and that I’m currently interviewing.  In a chat room filled with hundreds of people I got only 7 likes and 7 responses.  Five people said leave the hair alone and complimented me.  Two people said to dye it with one saying that might help me in interviewing.  I was shocked by the lack of interest but I guess you have to think of the median age of the chat room group. Two of the ‘yay’ voters said to let my hair do it’s thing naturally thus the term “natural hair”.  So that begs me to ask: “are you less natural because you dye your hair?”

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I decided to go on YouTube to check out some grey natural hair videos and were shocked at the choices I had. I saw “How To” videos on how to stop, get rid of, prevent, cover, reverse, color, cure and dye grey hair NATURALLY.  What???? Please tell me how you are going to reverse a natural process NATURALLY. What is natural about eradicating what is growing out of your head?  I can’t!!!!  There were very few pro grey videos.

I attended the Natural Hair Freedom Brunch a couple of weeks ago and met Mildred Bean aka Natural Silver Sista.  You can check out her profile on Instagram at @naturalsilversista. She had the biggest and most beautiful grey and platinum afro puff I’ve ever seen.  I wish I had taken a picture with her but I’m sure we will cross paths again soon. She is one of the people that I’ve seen recently sporting lush beautiful silver and grey tresses and it looks amazing.  People like this inspire me to embrace my greys and to love them. My greys are a sign of strength through the trials of life.  My greys are a sign of wisdom – I’ve lived and learned some things.  My greys are God’s natural highlights.

So, want to know what my answer is to the question I put in the chat room?  I’m NOT dyeing it.  I’m going to embrace my grey.  Interview days I will continue to do what I have been doing which is pulling my hair back into a low puff at the nape of my neck or the back of my head. Sometimes the grey at the temples rolls up and stands out and sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s there.  I use to sell 5A virgin hair now I’m wearing the highest quality virgin hair there is: MINE growing out of my scalp.  I will not dye it and I hope that I can become an inspiration to others to hold their head up high and rock the grey.  Don’t worry about what people think, just do you!

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