Yes, it’s been a minute but this topic kept coming up over and over so I decided to weigh in.
Let me start by saying, I’m not a YouTube star, hair expert, or person with 12 billion zillion followers. I’m the average girl with average hair sharing things I’ve learned and discovered. I’m just chronicling the adventures of a new naturalista on a journey.
I have been told every since I can remember that my hair is really soft. At the beauty shop I was told that just about every time my weave was being taken out or put back in. I thought nothing of it and patiently waited for the long curly tracks to be sewn in. I had never really taken the time to deal with my own hair. I had been going to the hairdresser as long as I could remember. Only occasionally I would wash my own hair and just braid it down to prep for a protective style and keep it moving.
Since wearing my hair in its natural state, I now see what it means to have soft hair. Soft hair is what most people strive to have. For the person with soft hair, it can be a blessing or the worst thing you’ve ever experienced in the morning. Having hair like this means that I can use the same list of products as the YouTube divas, have the same grade of hair and porosity but my style will look totally different (not like the YouTube haircrush divas). Humidity is not kind to people with soft hair, I’m constantly stretching my hair with my fingers and re-fluffing because it has shrunken a little. My hair puffs up easily and will not hold a tight curl definition without a ton of manipulation. Ok, now the good news!!! My hair feels great, soft like a cotton ball. People love to touch it and play in it (after requesting permission, of course). My hair looks voluminous because it has a puffy quality to it. Basically, you look like you have way more hair than you really do – who doesn’t love that?
I recently ran into an old co-worker (acquaintance) that had not seen me since my un-be-WEAVE-able days. She told me how she loved my natural hair and said that she wished her hair in its natural state looked like mine. What??? Hold the phone, are you kidding me? She had Oprah hair – you know, that bouncin’ behavin’ hair that moves when you make a head movement. She showed me pics of her hair in its natural style and she had tons of curls (type 3 hair). Her complaint was that she had no volume. She wanted her hair to stand up to form an afropuff and hers could not. She went on and on about what her hair could not do and how she loved the way mine looked. She even went in her purse and gave me these hair accessory bands that she said she bought for her daughter and she didn’t want them because they weren’t black. They were perfect for a loose afropuff so of course I took them and thanked her. The next day she said she had told her daughter about me and asked to take a picture of MY hair. I almost fell off my chair.
I belong to a Facebook group of naturalistas on a journey and one of them was complaining about her soft hair. She took a selfie with a sad look on her face because her hair did not turn out the way she thought. Everyone was encouraging in their comments and uplifting. Coming off of my high of having my hair lusted after during the week, I chimed in to add encouragement as well. What I told her was that our hair is different. Our hair is a blessing but we just have to find the products and method that works for us. We have to get out of the habit of comparing our hair to someone else’s because that just sets us up for disappointment. Once we find what works for our hair, it will thrive and be amazing.
This is a note for everyone, We have to stop judging ourselves against others. Your hair is your hair and it’s unique and has it’s own personality. Let your hair do it’s own unique thing and nurture it and I promise you will be the inspiration for others before you know it.